Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
