i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
