There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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