Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
