We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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