Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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