he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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