Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
jump out the window naked night went bad
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
