normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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