Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
