I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
