I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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