who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You smell like stripper and shame
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
