i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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