i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You are the jesus of drinking
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
