whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we made out on top of his cat.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
