we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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