Dual....:-)
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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