its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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