i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
