My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
