My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
