You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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