They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
