Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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