her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
