Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My breasts were aching with rage.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
