Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
