i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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