She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
