Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
