So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
