you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she told me i tasted like america
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
