We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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