I think I died a long time ago.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
