i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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