please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
