Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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