You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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