Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
