TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
