yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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