I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
