If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
