It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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