And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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