So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
