Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Holy shit dude........stairs
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