Already got asked if we're dating
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
