so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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