he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
