You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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